Intimacy at its finest

This week in class we talked about relationships and intimacy. not just being intimate physically but also emotionally and mentally. this is something very close and important to me as i am married and am ever striving for a better relationship with my husband. Being intimate physically is sacred to me. Being intimate physically is creating a bong between husband and wife that is very deep and beautiful and significant. in fact it is so significant that it should only be experienced after marriage. this also means eliminating the feelings of arousal before marriage. no this doesn’t mean you can be attracted to some one but it just means to be careful to save those beautiful and precious feeling and actions for after you are married. marriage becomes that stepping stone for creating a family that is whole. Being present emotionally and mentally are equally important. It needs to be ok with both partners and understanding the needs of your partner through communication will strengthen your bond immensely. did you know that a woman’s mental state or focus effects how she is going to react to the physical intimacy and it won’t be a good reaction. she needs to feel safe before she can even begin to respond to advances . now, i am going to talk about something that impairs being present emotionally, mentally and even physical when i comes to being intimate. That thing is pornography. This trap is so common among men and women in society today. it’s on tv, in books, in music, in pictures, videos and its come to a point and people will consider you weird if they find you don’t watch it. how sad is that. pornography is addictive and clouds your perception of what is real. Its is very hazardous when one enters into marriage with an addiction like this. not only for the person being consumed by this addiction but for their spouse as well. just as a person suffers with a spouse that has an alcohol addiction, spouses of addicts of sexual things like pornography go though trauma. we took a survey in my class of over 35 students of who thought watching pornography was a form of cheating and only a handful of students thought it wasn’t. At this point i would like to say if any one who reads this is struggling with pornography or is the spouse of someone struggling with pornography there is always help and people do heal from this. But few people, including myself before i had this class, would be willing to stay with someone who had , by your personal definition, cheated on them. I decided after this class that i would act differently. This is a difficult subject to talk about but i feel it is so necessary. pornography dulls the senses and give you a false idea of beauty. The example my teacher used was a man watching pornography and comparing his wife to what he watches. Thinking about how the woman he was watching seemed as if she doesn’t wake up with morning breath. My teacher went on to talk about how the beauty he sees in his own wife “like the way she brushes her hair aside leaving her neck exposed or the way she smiles at the children.” He said he wouldn’t be able to pick up on these tiny things if he was numbed or clouded by the false perfect that pornography tricks you into believing exists. pornography destroys relationships and breaks trust. And i am so grateful to my teacher for making us all aware of this.